DAD: Thank you all so much for coming. Like every year, we’re going to go around in a circle and read selections from the Haggadah. Everyone will get a turn and no one will be bored.
MOM: Everyone fill up your glasses! Bill, wine?
WACKY UNCLE: I don’t want to sing “Dayenu” too loudly again, threateningly emphasizing the ‘die’ part while glaring at my ex-wife, so I’ll stick with grape juice.
DAD: Is everyone ready to read?
SCAPEGOAT CHILD: Oh boy, I hope I get appointed ‘evil son’ again…
Julie Shain imagines the Passover Seder You Didn’t Have: http://nyr.kr/XlrqRN